Naked and... 30

Well, it's official. I...am...30. Now, some might wonder why it's taken me so long to post a blog commemorating this wonderful endevour into my fourth decade but- I have been very busy. After all, it is NOT easy locating gray strands in a blonde haystack and after spending the entire first half of my 30th birthday searching for  those overnight-"scalp-invaders", I  eventually gave up and retreated to the next unavoidable task- my Last Will and Testament. This was quite time consuming as well... I mean, just how does one decide quickly what family members should inherit the toenail clippers, or the polka-dotted-rooster-paper-weight-thingy? AND, to whom would I leave the last half of my Aveeno Positively Radiant Moisturizing Cream? A few days prior, these decisions might not have taken so much time but, please understand, I am 30 now...my brain is just not functioning at 100% capacity anymore.

Okay, okay, I am KIDDING of course! In fact, I celebrated part of my 30th birthday at Chuckie Cheese!! (No really, i did...and it was AWESOME)  Breaking it off with Twenty-Something was one of the best things I could've ever done. We were just going nowhere and it felt too much like a one-sided relationship; always draining me of my emotions and holding me back from living life. It was time to move on, and at 6:05pm on January 28th(and after leaving Twenty-Something an- "It's not You, its Me"- message), I put on my best dress and met Thirty for our very first date..

Thirty felt wonderful...There were no instantaneous gray hairs and and my Aveeno kept it's seat in my medicine cabinet without worry of being replaced by some miracle potion promising to rid me of my overnight crows feet.  No, Thirty and I proudly celebrated January 28th with a steak dinner and the company of family. That day will be unforgettable; not just because my wrap-around dress decided to unwrap itself in the middle of Flemings, but also because my days of reawakening started and ended around the poeple who are closest to me.

So, I am officialy back at the starting line, writing again and re-spinning my web from the inside out. BUT, just before the shotgun fires, there's still two things left to do before my adventure can truly begin. If you're like me, you might find that the answers to some of life's greatest questions can be found on aisle 7 at the Supermarket. Aisle 7 and I share an eventful history together. About 9 months ago, I dared to walk into HEB after retiring my yoga shoes  for a pair of  3 inch heels that I hadnt quite learned to walk in. From across the aisle I recognized one of my new friends, whom I had just met at my equally new apartment complex. As I lifted my arm to give a gigantic wave my heels slipped out from under me and I landed flat on my back, ironically, next to the pancake mix.  Fast forward 8 months, you'd find me again, Aisle 7, this time at the local Randalls gazing at what seemed like The Great Wall of Shampoo. As fate would have it, I ran into an old aquaintance,  a beautiful woman my age, who was now 4 years into the success of her own business.  The last time we'd talked was at a Chamber event where we discussed over cocktails how great it felt to have our own businesses, and here she was, 3 yrs later, obviously coming to say hello.

We engaged in the usual small talk and I am happy to report that I managed to stay upright and on my own two feet.  There was no crash landing to the concrete floor but my stomach took a sharp blow as she asked me the inevitable question: "How is life treating you these days?" As the words left her lips, I nervously straightened my jacket, tugged at my earlobe and with a created smile simply replied, "Everything is wonderful."  That was untrue, of course, but I find myself wondering why I felt the need to lie about my success to someone I barely even know. Why should i have cared so much about what she thought of me? She doesn't know my favorite movie, how I take my tea, or how I cry everytime I see the Humane Society commercials.  As a matter of fact, that night on Aisle 7, I was no better then the hundreds of shampoo bottles relying on perfect packaging to determine their value. Think about it...Every bottle on the shelf measuring it's own worth by how attractive it's container and by the list of perfections they display for all to see.....yet, the important information, what's actually inside, remains hidden on the back in fine print.

It suddenly hit me that I've spent the majority of my life worrying more about how I am viewed and less about who I actually am. I have to admit, it's a little heart-breaking to realize that if I'd paid more attention to my own ingredients I might have baked a better cake. I would have done better in college, possibly chosen a different career and I definitely would have married a different man. The fact is, I made some of the most important descisions of my life before I ever took the time to read the words tattooed on my heart. Imagine for a moment we lived in a world where we all wore our ingredients on the front of our shirts. Instead of deciding one's worth by the style of her hair, the color of her skin or the price of her shoes we would rather pay attention to the contents written on her plain, white, t-shirt. Our own self-worth would be lifted, relationships connected at the souls and boundary lines erased. It's a powerful thought and I've never felt so eager to bare my soul and run streaking thru the rest of my years.  It might have taken some time, a blog, a spider, and an aisle in the grocery store to get me here, but I can finally say this with pride..

I....am....30, and naked is EXACTLY what I want be.


TO-DO list #3 - Spend some time searching for all of my ingredients. Write them down, learn to be proud of them, and start living as if they were written on the front of my shirt.

I challenge all who read this to do the same.